


What Fires Together Wires Together

by Silver_Song



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Adopted, Brains, F/M, First work - Freeform, Fluff, Hope it's not terrible haha, Morgan's sister reader, Murder, Not a case from the show, Romance, Slow Burn, Title is a neuroscience saying btw, rating will change as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-01-06 13:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18389456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Song/pseuds/Silver_Song
Summary: Morgan's sister is brought in on a case that involves a serial killer with a fixation on the brains of his victims. Spencer takes to the sweet doctor immediately, but this unsub could prove too much for the team to handle. Two things are for sure: Morgan isn't going to let anything happen to his little sister, and Spencer is discovering that keeping her safe is quickly becoming all that matters.





	1. Loaned Out

Morgan met his sister outside the doors of the FBI office in order to help her get her consulting credentials and building pass in order, as well as to take her up to meet the team. He wasn’t happy about it though, and it showed on his face.

 

“You could look a little bit happier to see your sister, Derek” (Y/N) deadpanned, looking up at her brother with eyes full of challenge.

 

Derek sighed dramatically, placed his hands on your shoulders, and looked into your eyes. “I never wanted you to be involved in this life (Y/N), you know that”.

 

“I know, and I get it. What you do isn’t for the faint of heart. But if I can help? I want to. I need to” she implored him to understand. “Plus!” she smiled suddenly, “My boss loaned me out, it’s not like I can just tell him to stick it”.

 

Morgan chuckled, it had crossed his mind a few times to call up her boss and tell him just that. It wasn’t that easy though he knew, because she was right, they could use her help…not that he would ever tell her that. He would much rather tell her that they’d be fine without her and she could go back to her lab. Where she was safe.

 

He threw his arm around her shoulders and they walked into the building, heading for reception.

 

His baby sister was the youngest by far. He couldn’t help his fierce need to protect her, to keep her from the glimpses of hell that could be seen from this job. His was protective of all of his sisters of course, but (Y/N) had a special place in his heart. From the moment she landed in their family at the age of two, after his father had taken her away from her neglectful, drug abusing mother, Morgan had loved her. It was only supposed to be temporary, but she had captured all their hearts with her joyful, inquisitive disposition. She fit right in. At the age of 12, his father had already instilled in him a fierce loyalty to family, and she was family. Since his father had died, he had convinced himself that he was all that stood between her and the evils of the world.

 

Stepping into the empty elevator, (Y/N) was suddenly nervous, her easy smile slipped and she stared at her hands, playing with the ring on her middle finger. It was a gift from her mother when (Y/N) had gotten her PhD.

 

“Hey,” Morgan said softly, “what are you worried about?”

 

(Y/N) kept her eyes down, and just as softly said, “Derek, you’ve told me about your colleagues. They’re all brilliant. How am I even supposed to contribute? I have one area of expertise and that’s it. You’ve told me about Reid, he could just read a textbook on the subject and in 20 minutes know as much as me. Hell, he probably has already has”. The pace of her speaking picked up as her anxiety rose, until she was rambling. “You guys don’t really need me and I know you’re like a family and I’ll just be intruding on your process and I’ll probably just screw up anyway and I could lead you in the wrong direction and so much is at stake and ---”.

 

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Morgan soothed urgently, derailing her rant. Rubbing her arms as he had done a hundred times before, he pulled her into a hug that he always provided when she wound herself up like this.

 

Her breathing wound down, secure in her brother’s arms.

 

Morgan was relieved. He thought she was afraid of the danger inherent to the job, thought that she was worried she’d be put in harms way. Her worry however, seemed so ridiculous to him. She was brilliant, so much more so than she knew. Her mind was sharp and bright. It had been ever since she was a little girl, toddling around, intent on discovering and figuring out everything she laid her eyes on. As she grew, her mind had naturally latched on to science, and it hadn’t let go since. With it, she had flourished and distinguished herself in her field of study. Even if she hadn’t been Morgan’s sister, Hotch would have chosen her to consult on this case.

 

“You’ve got nothing to worry about Baby Girl,” he murmured, his head resting atop her own, “I’ll be with you the whole time and everybody will love you. You’ve already met Garcia, and she loves you” he reasoned.

 

The elevator dinged, and they pulled apart as more people entered. (Y/N) continued her breathing exercises as quietly as she could, determined that when the doors opened on the BAU’s floor, she would have her smile back and meet the team as she would any other group of Morgan’s friends.

 

The elevator dinged again.


	2. First Meetings

The bullpen was bustling. (Y/N)’s mind was trying to take everything in as Derek directed her to the break room. 

As she passed, JJ and Emily turned to each other with inquisitive looks. They knew Morgan’s sister was coming in to consult on this case, but was that her? They looked nothing alike. 

“Well,” JJ said suddenly, shrugging, “guess it’s time to corral everyone. Meet you in the conference room in 5”. 

Emily smiled, “You got it, this should be interesting”.

They parted and JJ headed to Hotch’s office, letting Reid know the deal on her way. 

\---

Morgan returned to the break room to find (Y/N) at the window, looking down on the city. The coffee he had poured for her still sitting on the table, barely touched. 

“You ready?” He asked from the doorway.

(Y/N) took a single deep breath and turned around with a smile. “Yeah,” she released the breath, “I am actually really looking forward to meeting your team”. 

\---

Morgan and his sister walked into the conference room and Spencer could actually feel his heart give a single, hard thump. (Y/N), who Morgan had mentioned before but Spencer had never met, was beautiful…to say the least. She was dressed in a pale blue blouse, tucked into a pencil skirt, both accentuating her curves amazingly. Before he knew he was doing it, his eyes flicked down to her legs. Smooth and shapely, ending in a pair of simple black heels with a cute bow on either one. 

Spencer caught himself with a jolt, good thing they had directed their attention to Rossi first and neither of them had seen him looking a her. Checking her out, he realized with embarrassment. 

Morgan spoke, “(Y/N), this is David Rossi”.

The salt and pepper haired man held his hand out to her, smiling warmly.

They shook and Morgan gestured to Hotch, “SSA Aaron Hotchner”. (Y/N) gave him a bright smile, “Hotch!” she blurted out, embarrassed at being so excited to finally put a face to a name. Her face turned red, as it so easily did. “Sorry” she muttered, giving Hotch a shy smile. 

Spencer’s stomach clenched. She was adorable. 

Hotch chuckled, a rare smile creeping out, small as it may be. “Perfectly fine Dr. Morgan, please do call me Hotch”.

Spencer’s stomach clenched again. That’s right, he remembered, she held a doctorate. 

JJ laughed in Morgan’s direction, “Dr. Morgan, never thought we’d hear that” she chuckled out. Morgan gave her a wry look, keep laughin’ Mama, payback’s a bitch. 

Garcia piped up, “We can’t call her Dr. Morgan, too confusing”.

(Y/N) smiled at Garcia, then looked at everyone, “(Y/N)’s fine”. She looked back at Garcia, and held her arms out “and nice to see you again Penelope” she said, as Garcia gave her a quick, hard hug. 

Morgan continued, introducing JJ and Emily in turn.

I’m up next, Spencer thought, what do I say?

“And this is Dr. Spencer Reid, Pretty Boy himself” Morgan teased, smiling at Reid. 

Spencer’s mind went blank as she smiled at him, holding out her hand for him to shake. His mind was fuzzy, but thankfully his body knew what to do. Her hand was small and warm in his, so soft. And then gone. He wanted it back. His brain came back into focus and he blurted out, “Y-you don’t look anything alike”. Stupid, he chastised himself. 

But her smile grew wider and she laughed, he liked that sound, light and completely genuine. He had caused it. He wanted to do that more.

“That would be because I’m adopted” She explained.

“O-of course,” Spencer shook his head to clear it further, “did you know that around 135,000 children are adopted every year in the United States?”

“Hmm, interesting. No, I didn’t know that. Morgan wasn’t kidding when he said you knew a lot of random facts. Eidetic memory?” (Y/N) asked, professional curiosity kicking in. 

He grinned. “Yeah,” he said, impressed, “most people call it photographic”.

She smiled, “Ah yes, a harmless mistake, just a bit inaccurate”.

He couldn’t help but be taken in by her sweetness. Had Morgan mentioned her field of study? He thought. About what could she be here to consult? This must be a particularly tricky case for them to have brought in a specialist from another field.

“It’s nice to finally meet everyone,” (Y/N) interrupted his thoughts, “I’ve heard so much about all of you, I wish it could have been under different circumstances” she said, looking pointedly at Morgan.

Morgan through up his hands in surrender, “Shall we get started?” he offered, changing the subject.

They all took a seat at the round table as JJ handed out files.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As this is my first work, I would really appreciate any comments you have! Let me know if you think this think is worth continuing. Thanks!


	3. In Air

JJ laid out five pictures, seemingly blown up off of driver’s licenses. Everybody leaned in to study their faces. A middle-aged woman with dark eyes, an older man with silver hair and a short beard, a young woman with long blonde hair, a young man with spiky blonde hair who was sporting a smirk, and a severe looking older woman.

“Five people with seemingly no connection have been found dead, their brains removed and left at the scenes in pieces. Local law enforcement has begun to suspect that there is some significance in the way the brains were laid out at the scenes. That’s why (Y/N) is here. With her expertise in neurology, hopefully we’ll be able to better understand the unsub’s motives.”

Spencer was intrigued, the structure and function of brains was just inherently fascinating. He was looking forward to a chance to pick her brain, learn what he could from her experience. 

Hotch told them their location and Rossi announced that wheels would be up in 30 minutes.

\---

This was the first time (Y/N) had ever been on a private jet, and if the circumstances had been different, she would have allowed herself to be more excited by the prospect. As it was, all she felt it was acceptable to do during the flight was read or go over the case file. As she had already done that when she was first being considered to consult, reading it was. She had stationed herself at the back of the plane, not wanting to accidentally take someone’s preferred seat or seatmate. Rossi and Hotch were at the front, probably discussing the case, JJ was reviewing her notes, Prentiss napping, and Morgan listening to music with his eyes closed. 

Spencer noticed (Y/N) at the back, curled up with a book. He didn’t want to disturb her, but she looked a bit lonely sitting all by herself. He took the seat facing hers, planning on leaving her be, when she looked up from her book and smiled at him. 

“Hey” she said softly, lowering her book to her lap. 

Reid’s stomach still tightened when she smiled at him, he wondered how long that would persist. 

“I don’t want to disturb you. You can go back to your book if you like.” He offered, gesturing to the paperback on her lap. 

She looked down, seeming to just then remember what she had been doing before the tall, handsome man had chosen to sit with her. 

“Oh!” she blushed. “No no, don’t worry about it. I’ve read it before.” She explained, holding up the book. Her heart was beating a little quicker than normal. She didn’t want Dr. Reid to leave her.

“Lock In” he read aloud, “I haven’t read that one”.

Her smile faltered a bit. Of course he hadn’t, she thought, he probably only read the classics or obscure texts translated in the 1600s or something. He wouldn’t be interested in the books she liked to read. 

“It’s sci-fi” she explained, her eyes not meeting his. She was a bit embarrassed, as if she was admitting to a guilty pleasure. 

Little did she know, Reid liked all kinds of books. They had been his comfort and his companion since he first learned how to read. He wanted very much to know what she liked about this one…and anything else she was willing to tell him.

“What is it about?” he asked.

Initially she was hesitant to talk about it, her insecurities about her “uncultured” reading preferences holding her back. But she was being silly, she thought. Reid was a genius, but Morgan had never described him as a snob. As she told him about the premise, she lost herself in the interesting lore that the book had established. 

They chatted about it for a while.

“I bet the people with Hayden’s syndrome are discriminated against simply because they’re bodies are robotic” he mused, a good 30 minutes into their conversation.

“Yes!” she exclaimed, excited to discuss further. “People think they’re dangerous, or get unfair advantages in life, even though their minds are completely intact and as human as the day they were born”. 

(Y/N) didn’t find it surprising that he would understand. After all, he was different than most too. She didn’t mind. He was smart, way smarter than her. It was a bit intimidating, she could admit. But as she spoke with him, she didn’t feel like she was out of her depth, or that he was judging her in any way. It was easy to talk to him, relaxing. Not to mention how easy on the eyes he was. She could see herself spending hours talking to him, and it feeling like 15 minutes. 

They talked about books for a while longer before he changed the subject. 

“So you’re a neurologist” he stated, prompting her to talk about her field of study. 

All the nerves that had been banished by their easy talk were back. She started fidgeting with her fingers. 

“Yeah, I uh, work in a lab downtown that studies Alzheimer’s disease,” she explained, “but I’ve worked in various areas of neuroscience. Nothing big or anything.” She felt the need to add that little amending statement in, in case he thought she was any sort of big deal in her field or anything. She was nothing special, she thought, just a woman who thought brains were cool.

“It is big.” He encouraged. “So much of the human brain is still a mystery, a great deal in part because it’s so complicated. Did you know that the average human brain has about 86 billion neurons?” Reid cringed. “O-of course you do, sorry.” His face felt like it was flaming. They were having such an easy conversation and then he just had to go and be so awkward, he thought.

(Y/N) smiled fully again and chuckled. “Don’t apologize for being interested in the brain, Dr. Reid. It’s a passion of mine after all, or believe me I would have chosen a much easier field.”

Reid wondered what else she was passionate about. What else got her eyes to light up like they did when she spoke of her favourite book? What else had her forgetting to feel the need to be careful about how she worded things, instead letting her passion fuel her dialogue until she couldn’t even remember how she had even gotten to that topic.

He also wasn’t quite sure why his heart picked up when she called him “doctor”. He did know, however, that he desperately wanted to hear her say his given name too, knew that it would sound wonderful on her lips.

“Please, call me Spencer, o-or Spence,” he started to ramble, “Or if you don’t feel comfortable—”

“Spencer!” she laughed, trying to break him out of his racing thoughts. Her laughs turned into a sweet smile as softly now she tried out, “Spencer…I like it”.

Spencer’s heart thumped hard, as he found it often did around her. He had been right, he thought. And thinking of her big brother, whom he considered to be his best friend, sitting only feet away from them, he had another thought.

That he was in so much trouble.


	4. The Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! So something weird happened yesterday and the new chapter didn't get posted so today you get two! Surprise?! Anyway, hope you're enjoying this so far, and as always, I appreciate your comments!

With half an hour left in the flight, the team gathered together to go over the case. 

Hotch started out. “All five victims were found with their brains removed. Other than that, no connection has been made between them”.

Prentiss continued, “Different age groups, different genders, ethnicities, careers…this guy doesn’t seem to have a type.”

“They were all found in the basements of their homes,” JJ explained, “ME says their brains were removed while they were alive, under anesthesia.”

“So the unsub doesn’t want to torture his victims,” Rossi put in, “there’s another reason he goes for their brains. The administration of the anesthesia and the surgery both indicate a possible doctor, even more likely a neurosurgeon based on the brain fixation.” 

Morgan looked at (Y/N), “What can you tell us about neurosurgeons?” he inquired.

Her mind started whirring. A neurosurgeon….she had met quite a few. What could she tell them that would be of use, though? She thought. What if she led them in wrong direction? “I-I d-don’t want to stereotype or anything…”

“Stereotype.” Morgan, Reid, and JJ all commanded in unison, encouraging her. 

“Umm well, like you’d imagine I suppose. Think doctor first. Smart, excellent at problem-solving, dedicated. You need all of those to just get past medical school.” She explained, gaining momentum. “Then once you’re a resident you start to get a taste of all the different specialties. The ones that pursue neurosurgery have to be among the brightest, but also have an incredible amount of patience and precision. They’re risk takers, and work incredibly well under pressure. You have to be when you’re working on someone’s brain. One false move and you could do irreparable damage. They’re often revered as some of the best surgeons because of it, and it can easily go to their heads.”

Morgan nodded at her, communicating to her that she had done a good job. They were just about to move on when something struck her.

“Oh!” She exclaimed, regaining everyone’s attention. “This might be the most important thing actually. You see, everyone knows that all people think differently, but what most never think about is how that translates to the structure of the brain. Everyone’s brain structure is slightly different. This means that neurosurgeons have to spend hours before operation, poring over brain atlases and MRI scans so they operate on the right spot. You can’t exactly open the brain up so it’s all about precision. The point is, above all, they’re planners. Meticulous planners.”

Reid was impressed. She seemed to exactly the type of information they were looking for. She was bright and caught on quickly. He knew she’d continue to be an asset to the investigation. For some reason, he felt…pride? 

“What can you tell us about what he did to their brains?” Hotch asked (Y/N).

“According to the ME’s report, they all had their occipital lobes destroyed. That is the part of the brain responsible for your vision. People with damage to that area are called ‘cortically blind’. Nothing is wrong with the eyes themselves, but instead they’re blind because they can’t process what their eyes are telling their brains.”

Reid piped up, “What if they saw something they weren’t supposed to? It could be the unsub’s way of undoing what they saw, or making sure they don’t see it again.”

The team discussed this point further and decided that they would have to split up to talk to friends and family. They had to find out what linked all these victims together.

Hotch looked at each of the team in turn, giving them their assignments when finally he address (Y/N) and Reid. 

“Reid and (Y/N),” he told them, “you’ll take Lisa Kraley’s friends. She was away at college at the time of her death, so her friends will have more information about what she was up to leading up to her disappearance.”

The butterflies in his chest that had been quiet for a while now kicked back up, excited to get to spend more time with (Y/N). He knew he should feel a little bad for feeling excitement since he was going to talk to the grieving friends of a young girl…but the butterflies won.

Morgan objected, “She should come with me. She’s my sister if she’s gonna bother anyone it should be me. I’m used to it.”

He said it teasingly, but he really did want (Y/N) with him, by his side where he knew she was safe. He knew Reid was capable, but the unsub could be anywhere and (Y/N) was just too important to Morgan.

(Y/N) narrowed her eyes and stuck her tongue out a him, a remnant from their time growing up together. Morgan smiled his trademark teasing grin at her. 

Meanwhile, Reid had never wanted to yell at someone to shut up as much as he did right then. His butterflies were panicking. 

He needn’t have worried though since Hotch shot Morgan down. “No, Reid and (Y/N) are younger and could even pass as college students,” he looked at both of them and added, “no offence”. 

They both shrugged in unison. 

Hotch continued “Lisa’s friend’s will be more comfortable with them, more likely to tell them about anything Lisa could have gotten herself into.”

(Y/N) was feeling good about the decision. She loved her brother, but he could be overprotective. She knew Reid didn’t need her, but she wanted the chance to try her darndest to help in any way she could and Morgan would only try to shield her. Plus, spending more time with Reid? The tall, adorable, awkward, handsome, genius man? Yup. She could put up with that. 

They all hammered out the fine details and then took their seats to prepare for landing. They were here. This was really happening.


	5. The Interview

“Never thought I’d be heading back to college.” (Y/N) said as she and Reid slid into the black rental SUV.

“You didn’t like it?” he replied.

“No, it’s not that. I’ve just…spent enough time on campuses,” She explained, her tone oddly sad. 

Reid caught her tone. He looked over to find her staring down at her hands, playing with a slim, beautiful ring on her middle finger. Reid wondered what she could be remembering that made her lose her ever present smile. He wanted to wrap her in a hug. Hell, he wanted to wrap her in a blanket, give her a hot chocolate and a book, and then wrap her in a hug. Anything to make her stop thinking about whatever was making her sad.

Snapping out of whatever it was (Y/N) said, “I guess you wouldn’t feel the same huh Mr. 5 degrees, 3 of which are PhDs,” She teased, smiling over at him. “I bet you never get tired of university.”

“Not true!” he countered, more than willing to let her leave those other thoughts behind. “I’ll never stop wanting to learn, but I was ready to leave academia behind. The BAU is where I belong now.”

“You really do, Spencer,” she told him softly, a fond look in her eyes. 

It was the first time she had actually said his name in conversation and it shot pleasure up his back. 

(Y/N) continued, “Derek doesn’t talk about his cases with me, he doesn’t want me to know what he sees or how he has to get into the minds of some of the most despicable people out there. Instead, he talks about his team. He talks about Hotch’s little Jack, and the ‘love of his life’ Garcia,” she chuckles at this, “he talks about JJ trying to pull one over on him, and he talks about you and your big brain.” She’s smiling wider now, feeling as though she really knows these people. “You guys are a family. You have to be to do the stuff you do and see the things you see without breaking down. I am so grateful to you and the rest of the team for being there for him. Because I know that I can’t be there for him in that way, even if he did tell me what goes on, because I’ll never really understand like you do.”

It was in that moment that Reid thought that he could be falling in love with this woman. She may have been the sweetest person he had ever met. Even though Morgan didn’t let her into their twisted world, she knew what he needed, and was okay with the fact that it wasn’t her. She was willing to trust these people that she hadn’t even met before today with the brother that he could tell was her everything. 

Not to mention the fact that she was so damn beautiful. The way her (Y/H/C) hair framed her face and the way her (Y/E/C) eyes were so expressive that he could just fall into them. It was anytime that he thought of her body that he had to stop himself. Every time he thought of how good her skin would feel on his fingertips or his hands on her curves, he itched to reach out for her. 

But he couldn’t. Morgan was adamant that she not be a part of their world. Reid was surprised that he hadn’t already thrown her over his shoulder and tossed her back on to the plane.

And to be with Reid meant being part of their world. It was impossible to not bring home the baggage of their cases. Morgan would surely have no qualms about beating him up if Reid laid a finger on his little sister, despite Reid being his best friend. 

So Reid could shove this desire down, ride out the rest of this case and never see her again. Except, the thought made him so sad. 

They could be friends then. Yeah, he thought, friends. They could watch movies together or something, friend stuff. Except then he thought of watching movies together, with her on the couch beside him, close enough that he could reach out and drag her against him. Her back to his chest as he wrapped his arms around her midsection. 

No, he thought. This would pass. Once they spent more time together these feelings would dim, and they could be friends. He enjoyed talking to her so much. 

They rode the rest of the short drive to the university in comfortable silence. When they arrived though, Reid thought he could see weariness in (Y/N)’s face and posture. However, just as quickly as he had seen it, it was gone. 

She turned to him and smiled, “Ready?” 

He nodded, making a mental note to ask her if she was okay after this interview was over. 

\---

They were meeting with Lisa’s best friend, Jenna, in a break between her classes in the campus courtyard. 

When they walked up to the meeting spot, Jenna was already there, looking sad and nervous. 

“Jenna?” (Y/N) asked. 

The girl nodded. 

“We need to ask you some questions about Lisa.” Reid explained, “We know you’ve already spoken with the police but there’s a few more things we need to go over.”

Jenna simply nodded again. Bouncing her leg up and down rapidly.

“Did Lisa have any enemies, anyone that would want to hurt her?”

“No, I told the police. She was a good person, I’ve known her for years.” Jenna said in a strangled voice. 

“Was she acting oddly in the weeks following up to her death?”

“No?” she seemed confused. Like she wasn’t sure. 

(Y/N) decided to give a question a try. “Jenna, did Lisa maybe come home one night upset? Like she had seen something that upset her?”

Jenna gave this question a bit more thought, “T-t-there was this one night, but it was like six months ago.”

Right before the time the murders began, both (Y/N) and Reid thought. “Tell us about it,” (Y/N) prompted softly. 

Jenna took a shaky breath, “We were at a club for a friend’s birthday. We were done for the night and I was going home with my boyfriend. Lisa was going to take the underground back to campus with a mutual friend of ours.” Jenna sneered the word “friend”. “When I got home in the afternoon Lisa was acting weird. It looked like she had been crying a lot, but she wouldn’t tell me why. She just told me that our friend, hooked up with a guy as they were getting ready to leave and she just left Lisa to take the train by herself!” Jenna looked disgusted. “The only thing she would tell me is that nothing bad happened to her, she just kept repeating that.” With that Jenna lost her control and broke down crying.

Reid, very uncomfortable with the crying girl in front of him, left (Y/N) to console Jenna when he saw that she hadn’t even hesitated before throwing an arm around the younger girl. He was dialing Garcia’s number as Jenna threw her arms around (Y/N), who began stroking the girl’s hair. 

“All powerful woman web genius at your service,” Reid heard through the phone. 

“Garcia, I need you to check the social media of Lisa Kraley and her friends. Six months ago, they went to a club for a friend’s birthday.”

What seemed like only a few seconds ticked by before Garcia said, “Got it, at least give me a challenge Reid,” she boasted, before exclaiming, “Oooooo! Fun night! Morgan needs to take me out dancing soon.”

“Garcia,” Reid deadpanned.

“Yeah yeah what do want with this?” she said, acting deflated. 

“Ok so Lisa Kraley left the club that night alone, something happened to her between then and the time she got home. She took the underground. Can you find her?”

“Reid I said a challenge!” she whined. “Give me like, 10 minutes. In the meantime go find some Wi-fi for your laptop and I’ll send you some footage.”

“Thanks Garcia”

She pouted, “Morgan usually tells me I’m the best.”

Reid hung up. 

He turned back around to see that the crying had stopped, as he walked back toward the two woman he heard (Y/N) offer to take the sniffling girl to her next class. 

“N-no, that’s ok, it’s not too far,” Jenna said, wiping her nose on a tissue. 

(Y/N)’s sweetness and compassion towards this young woman was not helping his attraction problem.

They said their good-byes and Reid updated (Y/N) on his and Garcia’s conversation. The campus had Wi-fi they could use but that look was back in (Y/N) eyes now that she wasn’t busy consoling someone else. She had only had that nervous, sad look in her eyes since starting to come here, so Reid thought maybe it would make her feel better to leave. 

“There’s a café down the road, wanna grab a coffee?” 

(Y/N) lifted an eyebrow, grinning.

Reid’s words registered in his own ears and he realized they sounded like a proposition for a date. “Uh, f-for the Wi-Fi,” he stammered out quickly, pointing to his messenger bag that held his laptop.

She flat out laughed at his awkwardness. “Come on Dr. Reid,” she said teasingly.


	6. Old Panics

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains a character having a panic attack.

They were approaching the street where they had parked the car when Reid got a call from Morgan. He told (Y/N) that he would just be a second and stepped off to the side. 

“Reid, how’s (Y/N)?” Morgan said in lieu of a greeting. 

“No ‘Reid, what’d you find out from the friend’?” Reid asked.

“After you tell me how my baby sister is, we can talk about the case.” Morgan said firmly.

Reid didn’t know if he should mention the odd looks he had seen come from her, the ones laced with anxiety and sadness that he didn’t know how to fix. What if he had just been seeing things? He didn’t want to worry Morgan, or worse, have him throw her back on that plane. Reid sighed at his friend, “She’s doing fine, great even. She was the one who asked the right question, and then she comforted the friend when she started crying.” Reid paused. “Come to think of it, I’ve been kind of useless today.” 

Morgan laughed heartily. “Alright, so that means (Y/N) got us somewhere. Give me the details.”

Reid explained the situation there and Morgan took him through what him and Prentiss thought of the one crime scene that was still fresh enough to give them any information. They hadn’t really gleaned anything from the scene that they hadn’t already guessed. It seemed as though the unsub had been watching the victim for weeks before he struck, learning the victim’s schedule, habits. He was a planner, just like (Y/N) had said. 

After they had hung up, Reid turned around and stopped dead. (Y/N) was standing frozen, gaze locked on the street. Her chest was heaving and her face was panicked. 

“(Y/N)?!” Reid called out, his stomach dropping. He looked around frantically, hand on his gun, trying to find the source of her panic.

She whipped her head around toward where she had heard the sound, saw Reid, and her panic grew. She didn’t want him to see her like this. She couldn’t stop it though. Instead her instincts prompted her to make herself as small a target as possible. She crouched down and wrapped her arms around her knees, enacting the fetal position while still being on her feet. Her heart was pounding painfully against her chest and she felt as though no matter how hard she breathed, she couldn’t get enough air in. She felt like she was going to die. 

Reid was pretty sure knew what was happening, a panic attack. It was impossible to be in this field of work without seeing a few. He couldn’t have ever predicted the response his body would give to seeing her in that battle though, it tore him up. 

Slowly, so as not to surprise her, he knelt down in front of her. He remembered reading about the best way to help someone, but he had never been needed to step in, what if he made it worse? 

He placed his hands on her arms, hoping his touch would remind her of where she was. She had her head buried in her knees and was shaking. He felt so helpless. 

“(Y/N), it’s Spencer, we’re gonna breathe together ok?” He had no idea if his words were getting through to her. He just had to start and hope it worked. “Ok, deep breath in,” he almost pleaded as he took his own deep breath, exaggerating it to make it louder. “And out,” he coaxed, as his lungs deflated. 

Nothing. 

He tried again. No change. 

He wouldn’t give up though, and on the third try, she took a shaky breath with him. “Good!” He told her, relief flooding through him. “Again,” he prompted. 

As they breathed together, her shaking subsided. Her breaths became deeper and more even until she could look up at him. 

“Spence?” she whispered, looking like she was about to cry. 

His heart melted as relief washed over him and before he knew what he was doing, he was dragging her onto his lap and enveloping her smaller frame in his arms. 

(Y/N) was surprised, but had no wish to remove herself from his hug. He was warm. Up against his steady body, she felt safe. Like the outside world didn’t exist…just them.

Reid would have felt bad for forcing her into a hug, but she seemed to relax even further into his arms. She had scared him, and though he didn’t know it when the hug had started, he needed this too. 

They stayed there for a while, neither wanting to move. 

Reid sure as hell knew that he wouldn’t be the one to break it off. She could stay there until the world ended as far as he was concerned. He couldn’t help but think this was where she belonged anyway. With him. 

So it was (Y/N) that moved first. She didn’t want to make things awkward between them. Because she had seriously considered the merits of burrowing her head into his chest and mentally telling the rest of the world to screw off for the next week or so. 

She was starting to get embarrassed though. She was a doctor and now a consultant for the FBI for goodness sake, she thought, oh God Spencer was gonna think she was completely unstable now…

“I really sorry,” she said as she extricated herself from his arms. 

Her legs were still a little shaky, but Spencer was there again, helping her to her feet. 

She couldn’t look him in the eyes, so he brought both his hands up to her face, one cupping either side to bring her attention to his face. 

“You have nothing to apologize for,” he reassured her. “I know what panic attacks are, I know you can’t stop it if one comes on, I know you have to ride it out. I’m just glad you weren’t alone when it did happen”.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with it anyway,” she mumbled. 

“The only thing you have to apologize for is knocking five years off my life,” he joked.

She gave a small smile. 

“Now,” he said, dropping his hands reluctantly, “we both need that coffee now more than ever. We don’t have to talk about what brought it on, but if you do want to talk about it, I will always listen.”

In fact, Reid was pretty sure he’d do anything for her.

\---

They had been silent on the short ride down the road to the busy café. Once they had their drinks, they found a table in the corner and sat down. 

Reid had no idea how to break the silence. He was no good at this sort of thing. 

(Y/N) didn’t keep him worrying for too long though, “It was in my fourth year of my undergrad,” she started off. 

Reid stayed silent, letting her go at her own pace. 

“I was taking a shortcut to a class I had in another building disconnected from the campus, the fucking middle of the day,” she laughed mirthlessly, “I’m always on my guard if I’m walking anywhere alone at night but I didn’t think anything would ever happen during the day.”

Reid didn’t like where this was going one bit, but he kept quiet.

“Everyone took this shortcut; it was basically made for the university students. Except it wasn’t between class time and I was alone. I still didn’t think anything of it, it was wide open, a paved pathway.” (Y/N) paused to take a sip of her drink, working herself up to the main part of the story. “I came up to this street I had to cross.”

Reid guessed it looked a lot like the one their rental SUV had been parked on.

“I was waiting for this car to pass before I crossed but it screeched to a stop beside me. Two men got out, they tried to shove me in the car but I fought them. I was so scared, and I knew that if they managed to get me in that car I’d be done for. So I fought with everything I had. Derek would have never let me leave for college without teaching me some defensive moves.” She laughed in earnest then. “Idiot probably saved my life by being so freaking protective”. She smiled fondly.

Thinking about the incident had his heart breaking and his fists clenching at the same time. Thank goodness Morgan was who he was.

Her smile fell and she rushed to wrap up the story, “Anyway, they ended up only getting away with my jacket. Just my luck that it was the dead of winter,” she said with a wry smile. “I didn’t even notice one of them had had a knife until the paramedics checked me out and found a slash across my abdomen from where the guy had been holding me around the waist. I didn’t think of myself as lucky then, but I know now that I was.”

Reid didn’t have to imagine what could have happened if they had got her in the car, he had seen the outcome in more cases than he would like to remember. It made him sick to his stomach when the images of the women from his memories started flashing across his mind, except with (Y/N)’s face on their bodies. 

He couldn’t help it, he reached across the small table and took her smaller hand in his. It was like he needed that contact with her to reassure himself that indeed she hadn’t been taken and was sitting right across from him. 

“Morgan…?” Reid said.

She smiled down at their joined hands, “Oh yeah he knows, he didn’t let me out of his sight for a week afterwards. He kept coming up to me at random times of the day and just hugging me for minutes at a time.” She chuckled at the memory. 

“He loves you very much.” Probably not hard to do, Reid thought. “That’s probably part of the reason why he wanted you to go with him today, he knew it might be hard for you to come back to a university campus.”

“That’s him, always worrying about me. He’s a little mother hen that one.” (Y/N) said.

Reid laughed at the image that inspired.

“I have to ask,” Reid said, “why didn’t you say something when after you knew where we’d be going?”

“It’s not PTSD,” she explained, “I didn’t think it’d be a problem. I’ve had Panic Disorder since I was in my teens and Generalized Anxiety Disorder since before then.”

(Y/N) felt completely comfortable telling Spencer these things. He was a doctor, not a medical doctor no, but she knew that he wouldn’t have any stigma towards her conditions. Since she had shamelessly sought comfort in his arms, she thought she could at least trust him with this part of herself.

“My biggest supporter has always been Morgan,” she continued. “He’s always understood me like no one else has. He always knows how to help, and he was the one who got me into treatment in the first place. I take medication and am better than I’ve ever been now, that doesn’t mean I’m cured though.”

“Believe me, I understand.” More than you know. Reid thought of his mother. She didn’t know that Reid had witnessed more than most what the brain’s structure and chemistry could do to the mind. 

“I knew you would Spence, it’s why I told you. Now you don’t have to worry so much,” she said as she reached up to his face to smooth the crumpled ridges that had formed between his eyebrows with light strokes of her thumb. 

He hadn’t even noticed the tension in his face, and closed his eyes at the contact. 

Satisfied that his face had relaxed, (Y/N) sat back. Reid opened his eyes and grinned at her.

Grinning back, she suggested, “How ‘bout we see what Penny’s got for us?”

He sighed and nodded, “Time to get back to work huh?” He reached down and grabbed his laptop out of his messenger bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story that the reader told about her experience of an attempted kidnapping was based on a true story that happened at my university. Ladies, when walking anywhere alone, keep your guard up, even when the sun is up. In response to this attack, campus security told students to use SafeWalk services, a free service where a buddy will walk you to your car or bus stop. The attack occurred at 3pm, and SafeWalk services aren't provided until 7pm. Don't expect campus security to be there for you. Look out for each other, and STAY SAFE!
> 
> ...sorry to end on such a somber note haha
> 
> Also the description of the panic attack is from personal experience. If anyone is or knows someone who is going through something like this and wants to talk about anything related to mood disorders, I'm here if you want to send me a message.
> 
> Also also! I just finished an intensely boring 2000 word paper on the pulvinar nucleus of the thalamus so it would give me much joy to hear from you in the comments!


	7. The Footage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a short. I just finished exams and wanted to get something out quick to assure everyone still reading that I had zero intention of abandoning this story! In fact, I'm going on a little road trip so I'll have plenty of time to write, when I'm not driving of course haha
> 
> Also, thank you all so much for all the kudos! This story is doing better than   
> I could have ever hoped.
> 
> Anyway! Not a lot of fluff in this one, we're advancing the case plot today :)
> 
> Enjoy!

“I hate using this thing…” he mumbled.

A technophobe, (Y/N) thought, how adorable. She sipped her drink, enjoying simply watching his face as he navigated the laptop. The screen’s light was glaring off his horn-rimmed glasses, which (Y/N) thought only served to give his already handsome face even more character. 

“Ok, here it is.” The subject of the email from Garcia read, Viewer discretion is advised, already forwarded to the team. Reid brought his chair around the table to sit beside (Y/N)’s in the corner, turning the laptop so that no other patrons of the café could see. They were seated shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh, and Reid’s silly butterflies enjoyed it immensely.

A grainy black and white video of a subway car showed seven people from the angle it was at. Due to the late hour, the car was understandably quite empty.

“There’s Lisa,” (Y/N) pointed at the blonde haired girl.

Reid immediately recognized the other four victims from the photos they had on file. “Here’s our connection,” he said quietly, eyes analyzing the screen. 

The other two individuals were what looked to be a young couple. The man was wearing a dark leather jacket and looked disheveled. The young woman was in a short dress and high heels. Her makeup was smudged and she looked as though she had had too much to drink.

“Something is wrong with her,” (Y/N) said, pointing at the woman. She was propped up against the man, seemingly half conscious. She went back and forth between pushing away from him and falling against him. 

“And look at her companion, he’s nervous,” Reid pointed out. 

Indeed, the man’s legs were bouncing, and he kept looking around. 

Suddenly, the woman unsteadily got to her feet, swaying on the spot. She was reaching out to one of her fellow passengers, mouthing something. 

“What’s she saying?” (Y/N) asked.

“I can’t tell, the security cameras don’t have audio.” But Reid thought maybe…help.

The man stood up in a panic, trying to drag the woman back down, but now it was obvious that she was becoming more lucid. She started to struggle against him. 

Another man, older, got up from his seat, seemingly trying to calm the situation down. The woman in the younger man’s grasp started to scream silently on the screen, which only served to agitate the young man more and he wrapped his arm around her neck. 

“Nonononono” (Y/N) started to mumble, getting a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

As the tension mounted, the mouths of the other passengers started to move, panicking, trying to get the man to stop. The situation was quickly deteriorating. The young man was jerking the woman around by her neck, trying to fend off what (Y/N) assumed to be an onslaught of pleas and accusations while trying to cut off the woman’s screams.

When the woman’s neck snapped it was like something snapped in (Y/N) too. She took in a small gasp and covered her mouth with both her hands, tears pricking her eyes and her heart breaking. 

Sensing her obvious distress, Reid hit the spacebar to pause the video. 

“Are you ok?” Reid asked with empathy. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

(Y/N) squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, trying to get herself together. Dropping her hands she said, “No no I know this is part of the job, but…God she was just so young. Couldn’t have been more than 20.”

Reid was silent. He watched her carefully, gauging her mood. She was getting over the shock, that was good.

“So this is our guy,” (Y/N) said, “he killed the witnesses so they couldn’t talk.”

Reid very much doubted it. Their unsub was careful, meticulous, calm under pressure. This guy was all over the place, anxious, panicky. He told (Y/N) as much.

“Then…we keep watching” (Y/N) said quietly.

“Only if you’re up to it, you can go get a muffin or something instead while I watch,” Reid offered. 

(Y/N) knew he said it with the best intentions, but it still rubbed her the wrong way. She was strong, she thought, she could put aside her feelings about the horror of the situation to get to the bottom of things. It’s what she was here for. She wouldn’t give Reid any more reason to believe she couldn’t handle this case. She had been through much worse after all, and thrived. 

(Y/N) pursed her lips, locked her eyes on the screen without looking at Spencer, and hit the spacebar again to continue the video.

The witnesses looked to be in the exact same state as (Y/N) had been a few moments prior. Shock froze all their faces, perhaps even the murderer’s. For a moment, everyone was still. 

That is, until the man, still standing over his companion’s body drew a gun from the back of his pants. 

Suddenly everyone’s hands went up in surrender and the man started talking. As he did, he kept gesturing with the gun to his other hand, outstretched and palm up. 

Slowly, one by one, each witness reached into their pocket or purse, and drew out their wallet. 

“He’s robbing them?” (Y/N) asked no one in particular.

However, instead of taking their wallets, each person handed him what was obviously their photo ID. 

Reid understood and explained to (Y/N). “He’s gathering their identities, likely explaining that if anyone goes to the police, he’ll kill them and maybe even their families.”

What both Reid and (Y/N) did not expect however, was the arm that entered the frame, handing over their driver’s license last. He, and it was clearly a he based on the size, had apparently been sitting or standing in the camera’s blind spot the whole time. 

(Y/N) recounted the witnesses. One, two, three, four, five. Five witnesses, their five victims. Not six. 

“This man,” (Y/N) said, pointing to his arm, “he could be next.”

“Or,” Reid said ominously, “he could be our unsub.”


	8. The Next Step

They whole team gathered at the police precinct to update each other on their progress.  
Turns out, everybody had come to the same conclusions after viewing the footage of the subway murder.

One of the detectives from the precinct came into the conference room where they were sitting and said, “Agents, you have an associate from Quantico on line one”, then left the room. 

Morgan put the line on speaker, and said “What have you got for us Garcia? And be aware, you’re on speakerphone. 

Garcia put on a tone of false indignation before saying, “I have no idea what you mean my dear, I am always completely courteous and proper.”

“Uh huh, our vic and her killer Garcia?”

“Ok, so our poor strangled girl is one Alexandra Dicursio, one prior for drug possession. Nobody even reported her missing, poor girl. The scumbag is Evan Lamberg, history of drugs, assault, and theft. I’ll send his last known address to your phones.”

“Any history in medicine? Anything point to an interest in the human nervous system?” Rossi asked.

“Nada,” Garcia replied, “just a creepy thug as far as I can tell.”

“Doesn’t fit the profile…” Morgan thought aloud.

“Okay, thanks Garcia,” Hotch said, “Give us a call if you come up with anything else.”

After the call ended, it was decided that Emily and Morgan would go visit the address while JJ, Rossi, and Hotch would go talk to the officers of Lamberg’s local precinct to see what they could find out about the man from his arresting officers. Reid and (Y/N) were to stay put and work from what they already had on their case board. 

The teams went their separate ways, but not before Morgan mouthed a “You good?” to his sister on his way out. (Y/N) rolled her eyes good-naturedly and gave him a thumbs up. 

Reid caught the exchange and smiled. He had sometimes wished that he had had a sibling growing up, then again, could he have handled any more family drama. Still, Morgan and his sister’s close relationship warmed his heart, and he was glad (Y/N) had someone like Morgan to rely on. 

Paired up again, they were now alone. Reid couldn’t decide if he was lucky or unlucky, was the universe trying to torture him? They got to work, going through the case again aloud from the beginning. Bouncing ideas off each other, Reid was spouting his statistics, and (Y/N) was doing a formidable job of keeping up with his sometimes-disorganized thought process.

Reid found it quite enjoyable to go through this process with her. Well, as enjoyable as discussing murder could be that is. He had caught himself several times distracted by her, attention captured by one thing or another. The way she moved when she talked, or the way her face was so animated when her thoughts gained momentum, and last but certainly not least, the way her beautiful (Y/E/C) eyes looked as she focused hard. It was intensely sexy. 

They fed off each other’s thought processes, each gaining energy as their dialogue progressed. 

When they got to Lamberg though, so much just didn’t track about the idea that he was the killer. 

“Remember the video,” Reid mentioned, “he was nervous, jumpy. Our killer is neither of those things.”

From the other side of the room, at the case board, (Y/N) pointed at each of the crime scene photos as she explained, “And see here, he didn’t hack at these brains, he removed and destroyed only the occipital lobes. No parietal or temporal sections are missing. That’s deliberate. Too clean for someone with no experience.”

Reid agreed. “We have to find out who that mystery passenger was.”

(Y/N) nodded, she knew the only way that would happen was to find the man that had taken his ID. She walked to the window; the sun was setting. It was objectively beautiful, but (Y/N) had just spent the entire day working on a murder case. So for the first time, the beautiful daily occurrence just looked ominous.

Reid didn’t think so. Seeing (Y/N) silhouetted against the setting sun, well, he didn’t think he had ever seen something so beautiful.

 

\---

Over a late take-out supper at the precinct, Reid and (Y/N) got a call from Emily, telling them they were all reconvening at the precinct to discuss what they had found out and figure out next steps. Reid thought he could hear Morgan in the background, protesting about something before they hung up. 

“Why didn’t she just tell us over the phone?” (Y/N) asked.

Reid just shrugged. He wasn’t the one to ask about the nuances of communication. 

\---

They had just finished cleaning up when everyone filed in, Morgan was looking unusually stoic. This worried (Y/N) and she hurriedly asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing nothing!” Prentiss explained. “Morgan is just not exactly pleased about an idea we have about the next step in our investigation.”

Morgan made a hmph sound, confirming what Emily had said.

“What, why?” (Y/N) asked, looking confusedly at her brother. 

“Apparently Evan Lamberg is a frequent customer at the same club our vic Lisa was at the night of the subway murder,” Rossi explained. 

“So we go to the club, start asking questions,” Reid logically concluded, “we have to find Lamberg.”

“One problem,” Hotch put in, “Garcia tells us that this club is flagged in the system. Apparently the owners, a pair of brothers, are known police haters with criminal pasts. We won’t get anything out of them, and they wouldn’t welcome us asking their customers any questions.”

Reid understood Morgan’s face now, “You want (Y/N) to go in and ask around,” he stated to Hotch, who nodded in answer. 

“Someone else could go in,” Morgan tried to persuade Hotch, “we don’t need to say we’re FBI.”

Rossi stepped in, “They’d peg any of us as feds in a flat second. You know it Morgan.”

Morgan worked his jaw but said nothing to that, instead turning back to Hotch. “This isn’t in her job description Hotch, she’s just a consultant.”

(Y/N) cleared her throat loudly, and everyone turned to find her with arms crossed. “How about let’s all stop talking about (Y/N) like I’m not here okay? I’ll do it.”

Morgan started to immediately protest, but she held up a hand and gave him a stare that would make a grizzly freeze in its tracks.

Reid was impressed…and a little intimidated…and a little turned on. Those intense (Y/E/C) eyes again. So beautiful, so…fierce.

“People are dead,” (Y/N) stated bluntly. “A murdering thug, and a mutilating mad man are out there and this is our only lead. We’re not blowing this by sending someone whose cover can be blown by police haters. I assume I won’t be completely alone.” 

She directed this last part at Hotch, who nodded. “Some of us will be outside, monitoring your conversations remotely, while a couple of us will be inside, laying low, in case you need immediate help.”

(Y/N) took a step toward Morgan, her face and tone softening. “You’ll make sure I’ll be safe.” She smiled her beautiful smile. “You always have.”

“I always will, Baby Girl” he replied fiercely. 

Satisfied that Morgan was at least a little on board, she stepped back. “Then it’s settled,” she addressed the team, “except, I assure you I brought with me no suitable club attire, and all the stores will be closed by now.”

“I’m on it,” JJ piped up. “I saw a few officers in the precinct that are about your size. I’m sure none of them would object to getting to make a trip home to pick out a cute dress and jewelry for you,” she joked. 

JJ excitedly grabbed (Y/N)’s hand and started dragging her out the door, Emily following. Just before they left though, (Y/N) looked back at Spencer. He had been with her the whole day, she felt comfortable with him. Now she was being dragged away to unknown territory and all she wanted was for him to stay with her to guide her through all this. Afterwards, she would wonder briefly why she wanted Spencer with her so much and not Morgan, but for now she just saw Spencer chuckle and give her a little wave.


	9. The Club

There were unnecessary straps everywhere. There were unnecessary straps across her back, unnecessary straps falling loosely off her shoulders, there were even unnecessary straps running diagonally across her chest. Ok, those one made her boobs look great, (Y/N) thought. At any rate, the black dress that JJ had procured for her “undercover mission” tonight was still so far removed from anything that (Y/N) owned. Looking at herself in the bathroom mirror of the hotel (Y/N) couldn’t help but think it was something that only someone with actual sex appeal could pull off. In short, not her. 

“Gah!” (Y/N) exclaimed when Emily accidentally poked her in the eye with the mascara wand. 

“Stop flinching!”

“Something black and spikey, the trajectory of which I can’t control is coming towards my eye, you try not to blink a lot!” (Y/N) countered. “Why do I need a “smoky eye” anyway? Aren’t I supposed to be the innocent worried sister looking for my poor missing brother whom I’ve learned frequents this club?”

“Trust us,” JJ said, recapping the stick of eyeliner that had been the previous instrument of torture. “Guys will be more willing to spill their guts if they desperate to keep the attention of a sexy woman”. 

“Not that you aren’t naturally very attractive!” Emily quickly amended.

(Y/N) rolled her eyes once the wiley stick had been removed. “Shouldn’t we get moving?” she hinted, “it’s almost ten.”

“(Y/N), the club won’t even be in full swing by now, we have plenty of time,” Emily explained. 

JJ, taking (Y/N)’s exasperated face into account jumped in, “it’s fine Prentiss, let’s go get the team together, she looks perfect anyway.”

When the room’s door had closed behind the women who were also clad in club attire, (Y/N) went directly to the full-length mirror on the wall in front of the bed. She had to admit; they had done a good job on her. While (Y/N) did wear makeup occasionally, she could never have reproduced this look herself. JJ had somehow known exactly what to do to accentuate her face’s natural contours and Emily had effortlessly blended her eye makeup. (Y/N) had put on the lipstick herself, she could do that much at least. 

She heard a knock on the door, and a Morgan’s voice on the other side yelling, “Baby Girl? You ready to roll out?”

Her stomach tightened; she couldn’t back out now. No, she thought, she’d do this. Though it was miles outside her comfort zone, she’d grin and bear it. Evan Lamberg hadn’t returned home since he had killed Alexandra Dicursio on that subway car so this was how they were going to find him. She’d do this for Lisa and the other victims, for Alexandra Dicursio, whom no one noticed was gone, and for the team that was counting on her.

Reid’s image came to mind at that thought, and it was surprisingly calming. He’d be there. He’d be close by, with his lopsided grin and his awkward and supportive aura. So maybe it wasn’t all that surprising that the thought of the adorable genius calmed her down. He had been nothing but amazing to her since they had been working together. Such a short time together and she already considered him a friend; someone she could talk to.

One more deep breath, and (Y/N) moved to open the door.

It was Morgan and Reid standing at the threshold, and with one look, both of them froze. (Y/N) looked back and forth between them awkwardly. 

“Are we going?” (Y/N) asked, drawing out the “are”.

This seemed to reboot Morgan and he pointed at her. (Y/N)’s eyebrows rose. Morgan’s finger gestured up and down while he shook his head vigorously. “Nope,” he said towards her. He looked at Reid, who didn’t notice as he was rubbing the back of his neck while not taking his eyes off the stunning woman. Hotch and Rossi walked past in the hallway, on the way to one of the rental SUVs. Still pointing, Morgan turned his head and told them, “Nope!”

“Deal with it, Morgan,” said Hotch, neither man stopping. 

“Ooooookaaaaayyy,” said (Y/N), “I’m just gonna…” she trailed off as she just gave up trying to communicate and squeezed herself between the two silent men to get to the hallway. 

\---

 

(Y/N) was all wired up by the time the team reached the club. The team outside in the SUV would be able to hear everything going on but she didn’t get earpiece since she would have people inside with her anyway and the tech could be conspicuous.

They all had their assignments. Hotch and Rossi were staying in the SUV since they didn’t look like the clubbing type, Emily and JJ would be subtly patrolling the dancefloors since they had actually brought suitable clothes with them, Morgan would be stationed at the bar since no one was going to bother telling him to stay in the SUV, and an uncomfortable Reid was forced to at least go in since he looked young enough to blend in. 

Once they were stamped, they all began to separate inside the active club. JJ and Emily headed to the dancefloor together as it was more likely for a random male to come up to a single dancing female and distract one of them from keeping an eye on (Y/N). Morgan sat down at the bar and immediately ordered a drink, while Reid gave (Y/N) a thumbs up and a forced smile before a trio of drunk women surrounded him and started to drag him towards their table.

(Y/N) looked around, lost. She had only been to a club once for a girlfriend’s birthday and that had been good enough for (Y/N). The whole experience was disorienting. It was dark but there were lights flashing from all around. The music was so loud you had to yell to be heard. There were people everywhere, sometimes shoving to get by. 

Seriously not the place for someone with anxiety problems. 

She was a big girl now though; she had a job to do. _Just start walking_ , she told herself, _fake it ‘til you make it right?._

She had been instructed to not start with staff even though they would have the best knowledge of the frequent patrons of the club. If she didn’t have to make her presence known to the owners, then all the better. 

But she thought, how the hell was she supposed to figure out which people came here often?! 

A male voice from behind her, “Hey baby, you must not come here often ‘cause I would definitely remember you.”

(Y/N) shut her eyes and shook her head slightly to try a wipe off the mix of revulsion and the temptation to laugh in his face. She plastered on a smile and turned around to face the source of the intensely cliché pick-up line. Early twenties, tanned, ripped jeans, old button up shirt, and spiky hair. He might have been handsome if he didn’t look like he had reached out blindly and happened to pick his style from the nineties…along with his pick-up lines. 

“Ohmigosh you come here a lot too?!” She exclaimed over the music in a falsely high-pitched voice. “I came here looking for my brother! He comes here a lot and I wanted to surprise him!” 

Oof, (Y/N) thought, that was a weeaaakk story. Luckily, the man-boy didn’t seem to care. He was apparently distracted by the nicely framed cleavage he could see from his taller height.

As he spoke, at least he tried to briefly drag his eyes back up to her face. “How ‘bout we try and find him together huh sweetheart?” He got closer to her, well into her personal space. He reeked of alcohol. When he tried to touch a tendril of loose hair she deftly avoided him, feigning making way for others to pass. He continued unfazed, “Let’s try the dancefloor or maybe the bar, I could buy you a couple drinks while we wait for him to show up, how does that sound?”

(Y/N) fought to keep the distain from her voice as she remembered to smile. “Oh no no you don’t have to do all that for me!” She instead pulled a folded-up photo that Prentiss and Morgan had gotten from Mrs. Lamberg, Evan Lamberg’s mother, when they had gone to check out his last known address. “This is him!” She pointed. “Have you seen him around lately?!”

Man-boy didn’t even look at the photo. “Babe, lots of people come in and out of here every night! C’mon, lemme buy you that drink.” He put his arm around her waist and drew her closer. 

This made (Y/N) instantly irritable, she wanted to push the prick off her and demand to know if he remembered her giving him permission to touch her. Plus, he was just…icky. His touch was just wrong, and he was wrong, and she wanted out of his sweaty, handsy grasp and away from his creepy roaming eyes. Instead she put on her best whiney pleading voice, the likes of which had not been unleashed since her childhood to convince Derek to buy her an ice cream on the way home from school. “Pleeeeeeeaaaase!” she whined out, “just one look!?” And giving him no choice, she took advantage of their sudden proximity and stuck the photo right in front of his face. “His name’s Evan!”

“Nah babe, I don’t know him, I don’t really pay attention to the dudes around here when there’s pretty girls like you right in front of me.” His smile was almost predatory. It was unsettling. “Now,” and his arm tightened around her until she was pressed firmly to his chest, “let’s go get that drink,” he said right into her ear. 

_Don’t knee him in the balls don’t knee him in the balls don’t—_

(Y/N) saw Spencer, his back to her, still trapped by those inebriated women. One woman had a hold on his tie, while one had a hand on his shoulder and the other was laughing intensely hard and slapping his chest. 

It…irked her. He was so obviously uncomfortable, not that any of those women would care, and he was too polite and awkward to do anything about it. Not only that but they were…(Y/N) didn’t know…touching him. It was inappropriate! At least that what she told herself was the reason it bothered her so much. So, she decided to kill two birds with one stone.

“BRO!!” She yelled in that direction, stunning the smarmy guy enough that she could push out of his arms and run, as much as she dared in heels and this crowd, toward Spencer. Of course Spencer couldn’t hear her above the noise given his distance so when she got closer she again yelled, “Bro!!! Ohmygod I finally found you!” She not so gently inserted herself in between Spencer and the women and gave him an exaggerated hug, and a peck on the cheek, for good measure of course. Turning back to smarmy nineties man-boy with her arm around Spencer’s waist, (Y/N) pointed at Spencer’s head, gave a thumbs up and mouthed _thanks_ before putting on her best peppy cruise director voice and telling the three woman, “Sorry ladies! Gotta borrow my bro for a sec!” Immediately after she spoke into Spencer’s ear, “please get me out of here, fast!”

Spencer had absolutely zero qualms with this plan. This plan was great. This was his favourite plan. 

Arms around each other, he steered (Y/N) over to a blessedly empty corner of the club so they could talk. When she dislodged herself from his side, he immediately felt the loss as she took her warmth with her. 

(Y/N) sighed loudly, finding a small amount of piece in their corner, her back to the wall and Spencer facing her, seemingly blocking out the rest of the crowd. “People come to these places. Like, actually come to these places, for fun!” she said incredulously. 

Reid chuckled, “People have been gathering to dance for ages, the history of dance goes back farther than 3000 BC,” he yelled over the music. 

She smiled; this was exactly what she needed to regroup. Spencer made her feel normal, centered. “Thanks for the save, Spence.”

“Are you kidding?” He laughed. “I was one minute from bolting back out to the SUV. You saved _me_. I’ll try to do my job and actually look out for you from now on.”

“Don’t worry about it, Spence. I’m actually glad no one saw what just happened, especially not Derek.”

“What? Why? What happened?” Spencer’s heart leapt, what had he missed? Had she needed him?

(Y/N) saw the worry on his face and backtracked. “No no nothing to worry about, just my first attempt at questioning was a failure and the guy I was asking had personal space issues. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

The thought of another man touching her without permission sent a spark of anger through Reid. It caught him off guard. He didn’t feel that when a creep got too personal with JJ or Emily on the job. Was it because (Y/N) was a civilian? It certainly wasn’t because he thought she couldn’t handle it herself. Morgan would have never let her out into the world otherwise after all. 

“I think I know how to go from here, thanks Spence.” She squeezed his arm in reassurance as she passed. She then muttered to herself, “ok, new game plan.”

Her watched her go, the determination in her eyes was made even more fierce by her dark eye makeup and it made her all the more attractive. Once she had made it back to the crowd he watched her take the photo of Evan Lamberg from her bag and start to move with the dancers. She wasn’t dancing exactly, more like letting her body move like she was in a current. She made her way through the crowd with more grace than he could ever manage, tapping people on the shoulder and immediately holding up the picture. He watched as people shook their heads and she moved on. 

After an hour of her new game plan, which was just asking freaking anyone, with no luck, (Y/N) plopped herself down on a stool at one of the bars. She needed to catch her breath. Morgan was not far away at the other end of the bar; simultaneously keeping an eye on her, the club, and two very attractive women that were flirting with him. (Y/N) shook her head with a smile, he couldn’t go anywhere without women throwing themselves at him. She didn’t know he dealt with that. 

The bartender put a drink in front of her, a maroon liquid in a martini glass with raspberries impaled on toothpick.

“Oh, I didn’t order a drink”, she smiled up at him apologetically. 

The bartender simply motioned behind her with a tilt of his head and said, “courtesy of the owner.”

(Y/N) blanched and whirled around in her chair to find a man coming to sit in the stool beside her. _Shit._ Just her luck, she thought, so much for avoiding the law enforcement hating owners.

Luckily, he mistook her worry for confusion and stuck out his hand for her to take. His voice was deep and he spoke smoothly, confident that he would be heard over the background noise without shouting. “Ben Clark. I saw you sitting here alone and just wanted to come over to personally thank you for your patronage at my establishment.”

(Y/N) quickly took stock of the man as she shook his hand. Early thirties, well-tailored dark blue suit, nice watch, black hair styled back, and when he smiled at her she could see his straight white teeth. In short, he was obviously a very well-accomplished and handsome man, so she thought, _why is he buying me a drink?_ He didn’t look suspicious of her, and he wasn’t asking her why she was going around asking questions. 

“Oh! Uh, well, thank you Mr. Clark,” she replied warily, “I’m Dr. (Y/N)—” _Shit_ , should she give her real name? “—uh, Reid.” 

“Please, call me Ben, may I call you (Y/N)?” he asked politely.

She nodded. This didn’t seem so bad, (Y/N) thought, the guy might hate cops but he seemed to be more civilized than any other man she had met tonight.

“And a doctor! Very impressive!” he exclaimed, “So you’re brilliant as well as beautiful then.”

(Y/N) couldn’t help it, she actually blushed, although who knows if Ben could see it what with the lights and her makeup. 

“Oh, no I wouldn’t say that,” she replied with genuine humility, “I just like to figure out how humans work, I guess.”

“You must have a fascinating mind then, (Y/N). But, since I don’t have a jealous boyfriend currently chasing me away from you, can I assume you’ve come alone?”

Alarm bells sounded at that question, so she replied, “Oh no, I came with a few girlfriends.” She should wrap this up and just show him the picture and hope he didn’t get suspicious, she thought. He was so nice anyway. 

“While I have you here though, do you think you could tell me if you’ve seen my brother lately? His name is Evan Lamberg.” She pulled out the photo and he leaned in, resting his hand on her exposed knee. 

\------------------

“He’s gonna take his hand off my Baby Girl’s leg if he wants to keep his fingers,” Morgan growled behind his drink, staring daggers at Ben Clark’s wandering digits.

Reid, who was sitting beside him, supported the idea wholeheartedly.

Prentiss, standing with a drink behind them, rolled her eyes, “She doesn’t look distressed, she’s not looking around for help, she can handle it.”

(Y/N) and Clark got up together and with his hand on her lower back, they started walking towards the back of the club. 

“Ah nah nah, where are they going?” Morgan muttered as he got up to follow.


	10. Up in the Office and Down on the Ground

Morgan, Prentiss, and Reid wove through the crowd after (Y/N) and who they recognized as Ben Clark.

Before the door could close behind the pair, Morgan stopped it with his foot. Peering in, he saw a staircase and could hear (Y/N)’s heels clacking on the steps as they made their way up to what was presumably the club’s office. When they had rounded a corner, Morgan hand-signaled for Reid to come with him and for Prentiss to guard the exit. Reid and Morgan carefully ascended the stair case and parked themselves on either side of the doorframe, eavesdropping through the door that was slightly ajar. 

“Look who we have here Elliot!” They could hear Ben Clark say. They recognized the name Elliot as that of the other Clark brother. “Evan Lamberg’s baby sister!”

“What a surprise…” A deeper voice, presumably Elliot’s, said. Morgan’s heart was beating rapidly. He didn’t like (Y/N) being alone in that room with those two men, he could just feel it was wrong. 

“She’s looking for her bro and needs our help,” Ben Clark said with concern that didn’t really ring true in Morgan’s ears.

“Well isn’t that a coincidence,” said Elliot.

“Oh?” They heard (Y/N) say.

“See, we’ve been looking for him too.” All traces of Ben’s charm were gone as his tone became menacing.

“Bastard owes us money,” Elliot spat out.

“And since he hasn’t been answering our calls—”

“He hasn’t been answering mine either!” (Y/N) quickly lied, anxiety in her voice.

Reid frantically motioned to Morgan that it was time to move in, but with his mouth in a pained thin line, he held up one finger. He knew that these guys would probably be armed and he was very hesitant to put his sister in the line of fire.

“Well maybe you just didn’t sound worried enough for his wellbeing!” Ben’s voice rose on the last word and Morgan and Reid heard the crack! of skin on skin and (Y/N)’s subsequent short cry.

That was the last straw. Morgan and Reid burst in, weapons drawn. They quickly took in the room and spotted (Y/N) on the floor, clutching one side of her face. 

“FBI, hands where I can see them!” Morgan yelled. 

“You bitch!” Ben Clark spat out in (Y/N)’s direction, but put his hands up. His face was full of contempt.

Elliot Clark also put his hands up, a dark look in his eyes as he glowered at Reid and Morgan. Reid stepped forward to cuff the smaller of the men, Ben, but as Morgan started in to cuff Elliot, he spoke. “Filthy cops will never take me down.” 

The crook ran to a nearby desk and hastily opened a drawer. Before he could withdraw his hand from the drawer though, bang! 

And then three more, as Morgan shot a close grouping, centre mass. 

Ben Clark was screaming and swearing up a storm, but luckily Reid had already cuffed him when the shots were fired and had since managed to get him to the ground, face down. Morgan went to disarm the now prone Elliot and check his pulse. 

Footsteps trampled up the stairs and Prentiss and JJ burst into the room, guns drawn. 

As he dug his knee into Ben Clark’s back, Reid found (Y/N) on the floor across the room. Her brows were drawn together. Her eyes were wide and travelling around the room sporadically as her brain tried to process the frantic movement in the room and what had just transpired. Reid wished he could go to her in the moment. He wanted to wrap her in his arms so she could bury her head in his chest and close her eyes against the gruesome scene. Pretend for a while that it hadn’t just happened. 

However, when Morgan would have usually taken the opportunity to take a cuffed perp away, he instead left him with Reid and rushed to his sister. Stony faced, he brought her to her feet and cupped her face, tilting it to examine the bruise that was quickly forming on her cheek and surrounding her left eye. He gently touched it and she involuntary winced and drew her head away. Reid felt a pang in his heart at her reaction and, without realizing he was doing it, dug his knee harder into Ben Clark’s back. The scumbag’s subsequent cry had Morgan breaking away from the hug he had just given his sister and interrupted whatever it was that he was telling her.

He marched straight over to where Reid had Clark pinned and, eyes boring into the man who had attacked his baby sister, said simply, “up.” Taking the cue, Reid stepped back and allowed Morgan to not so gently drag Clark to his feet.

JJ, her phone pressed to her ear, told the room, “We’re in the middle of clearing the club, medics are on their way too.”

“When they get here, take (Y/N) to go see a medic, could you do that for me kid?” Morgan asked Reid. He nodded in response.

As Morgan left with Clark, Reid headed over to where (Y/N) was standing, arms wrapped around herself. Up close, the bruise forming on her face looked even more painful. 

“I, uh, came to make sure the medics take a look at—oof!” Reid grunted as she threw her arms around his neck. Reid circled his arms around her instinctively but awkwardly held them a few inches away from her body for a few moments, a bit unsure, before gently letting them fully embrace her.

“I knew you’d be there for me if things went wrong,” she whispered, temporarily lifting her face from where it was buried in his neck. “I knew you guys wouldn’t let anything happen to me.”

He pulled a bit away from her, so he was looking at her face. “But something did happen,” he said in a quiet, pained voice. He reached one hand up as if to touch where she was struck, but stopped inches away, and dropped his hand. 

She moved her hands to his shoulders. “Yeah, it smarts don’t get me wrong, but the bruises will fade and if this gets us closer to finding not one but two killers, I’d do again in a heartbeat.”

Her brave reaction in the aftermath of being assaulted and witnessing a death was admirable, but it still did not assuage the guilt Reid felt when he looked at her injured, but still beautiful face.

She was smiling softly at him, obviously trying to convey that she was just fine to try and comfort him. _Him._ She was the one whose smile was a little lopsided because it would hurt to use the muscles on one side of her face too much. Reid sighed, “Let’s go see a medic, I shouldn’t have to tell you of all people about head trauma.”

(Y/N) chuckled and opened her mouth to speak but Reid interrupted her. “And no! You are not allowed to perform your own examination Doctor!”

(Y/N) burst into a fit of giggles and they both went downstairs.

\--------------------

He’d done his research, it was part of his job to keep current after all. He knew who they’d brought in. The BAU. He now had a file for them, with each member’s picture and the information he could gather on each of them. David Rossi was easy, could pick up one of his works at any decent bookstore. Aaron Hotchner, former prosecutor. Emily Prentiss, daughter of an ambassador. Spencer Reid, genius. Derek Morgan, former Chicago cop. Jennifer Jareau, police and media liaison. But who the hell was this woman they were all surrounding? She was beautiful sitting there on the back of the ambulance. He didn’t have a file on her. They were acting too comfortably around her to not already know her. Jareau just gave her a hug. They were laughing. She had a beautiful smile. She must be important. Somehow. He would know if there was a new team member. No, she doesn’t look like FBI. He would find out who she was. She would have to get her own file. Yes.


	11. The Body

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos everybody!

(Y/N) was exhausted by the time she finally flopped down into the hotel bed after getting back from the club. After staring at the ceiling for a few moments with an ice pack pressed to her cheek, she realized that she would have to get up again to clean the makeup off her face and strip out of the dress she was still wearing. 

Boo. 

Letting out a whiny groan, she sat up a trudged to the bathroom. After wearing heels all day and all night, her feet still felt weird being walked on in a parallel to the ground fashion. Not up to standing any longer, she dragged a chair into the bathroom and set it up at the counter and plopped down. While making use of the makeup wipes included with the room, (Y/N) regarded herself in the mirror. She didn’t look any different than normal, well, other than the part of her face determined to turn purple. She thought she should look different after witnessing a death for the first, and hopefully the only, time in her life. Shouldn’t she look older or something? More wizened? No. She only looked as exhausted as she felt. It had been a long, emotional, day. Getting up, she threw the used wipes in the trash, figuratively washing her hands of the day, brushed her teeth, and went to get some PJs on. 

She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

\------------------

The morning came far too quickly in (Y/N)’s opinion. The alarm clock and the sun streaming in from the curtains were not her friends. Picking up her phone, she half blindly smashed her finger against the screen to make the thing stop screaming and then looked at the time. Right. 6AM. Absentmindedly, (Y/N) brought her hands up and rubbed at her face. She cursed, loudly for 6 in the morning, and winced at the tenderness of her face. She had forgotten about that.

“Better get going I guess,” she muttered to herself, “bad guys to catch.”

Although, (Y/N) had no idea with what they were going to occupy her today. She had already examined the medical examiner’s reports, looked at photos of the crime scene, and given all of the information her expertise could provide. Maybe she could head to the lab? Take a look at the pieces? 

She sighed. No, there was nothing more to glean from the victim’s brains. She’d just have to start the day off like any other day and see where it went. 

At the very least, she barely registered herself thinking as she trudged to the shower, she’d get to see Spencer again.

\--------------------

Turns out the day would not be a boring one. 

Of course, while she had been sleeping, the rest of the team had been searching the Clarks’ office and interrogating the younger brother about the whereabouts of Evan Lamberg. They had slept in shifts but essentially worked through the night. (Y/N) wasn’t sure how any of them were functioning right now, although she suspected coffee was heavily involved.

When Morgan had picked her up from the hotel he winced when he saw her face and his fists clenched into balls at his sides. 

He greeted her by saying, “Clark is lucky they didn’t let me into that interrogation room or he would have had to spend some time in the hospital before heading to prison.”

“Good morning to you too Derek,” she deadpanned. She supposed her attempts to cover up the bruises had been futile. What did she really expect though? All she had packed in terms of makeup was some powder foundation and mascara. 

He put his hands on her shoulders, stopping her from exiting the room to head to the vehicle. “How are you, Baby Girl? Really.” 

She shrugged her shoulders, “I’m fine Der. I’ve handled worse, as you know, and for much longer.” 

He did know. She had been battling her mind since she was in middle school. Anxiety and then depression. She had been through so much but had also learned so much. With the right mix of medication and therapy as her weapons against her despair, she could now hold her ground and she was her old self again. That being said, Morgan was always on the lookout for a resurgence of the symptoms of her disorders. Losing weight too fast, exhaustion, self-alienation from her family and friends, a far away look in her eyes. Those were all red flags. 

She looked fine though. Really, she looked more determined than anything, so he filled her in on what they had gleaned while she had been asleep.

They had managed to discover that Lamberg had a spot in the hills where he spent some time, apparently Clark thought he had a cabin up there or something. The brothers would probably have sent some thugs up that way any day had the FBI not gotten involved.

Right before Morgan had left to pick up (Y/N), the team were contacting the rangers of that particular forest.

About two hours later, they had a body. 

The team mobilized immediately. (Y/N) grabbed the field kit she had put together and headed out to the precinct’s parking lot. Taking two SUVs, they started heading up into the forest.

Reid, Morgan, Prentiss, and (Y/N) rode together. Morgan drove and bantered with Emily, and Reid was pleased that his subtle effort to sit beside (Y/N) had succeeded. 

“How’s your face?” He asked her, then thought that might be a bit blunt. “--feeling, that is…”

(Y/N) was touched by his concern, “It could be better I’ll admit,” she chuckled softly. “You must be exhausted. I feel terrible that I got a full night’s sleep and you guys worked all night to get us a lead.”

“(Y/N), you carried us yesterday, let us do a little work and not feel guilty okay?” He smiled at her, but his face quickly became concerned. He placed his hand over hers to both comfort and make sure she knew he really cared. “Are you sure you’re okay with what happened yesterday and now what we’re going to see?”

“I…I can’t really be sure you know? I’ve seen countless brains, performed countless dissections, even studied cadavers, but I always knew I’d be able to distance myself from the specimens. I’m sure you know how that is.”

“Erm, not really,” Spencer conceded. “My PhDs are in math, chemistry, and engineering, and my BAs are in Psychology and Sociology. We did very different types of lab work.” He smiled awkwardly, not meaning to brag. “I mean why do you think we need you so much on this case? Nobody else here has the practical knowledge that we need to get ahead of this guy.”

“Oh.” (Y/N) blushed, stunned. She hadn’t thought of it that way. She had assumed the main reason she was here was her connection to Derek, because why else would they need someone else’s knowledge in addition to that of _the_ Dr. Spencer Reid. 

“So, you were saying you’re able to distance yourself from the specimens you studied?” Reid prompted.

“Uh yeah, it’s easier when it’s just a brain or another organ because it’s just an object right? You treat it with respect and it’s fine. It’s harder when it’s a whole specimen because now in your mind it was once a living thing, you can see it’s eyes. That’s the part that really pulls on my heartstrings, the eyes. I’m very much a scientist but I totally understand why some people say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Eventually though, you find comfort in the fact that it, whether it was a human or animal, can continue to help humankind even after its natural death.”

Reid nodded, understanding.

(Y/N) continued, “But murder,” she shuddered, “is not a natural death.”

Reid put his hand over her own on her lap. “It’s jarring, I’ll tell you that. It’s not pleasant obviously. It’s visually off-putting, emotionally upsetting, and often smells bad.” He smiled encouragingly at her. “But I think you can handle it, I think you’re so strong.”

Tears pricked (Y/N)’s (Y/E/C) eyes, making them glisten slightly. She looked down at his hand and smiled. No one believed in her in as much as Spencer did except Derek, and Spencer had only known her a day and a half. Even so, it was like he effortlessly saw what was inside her. 

They spent the rest of the drive talking about his time in school. He made her laugh, and for a while she even forgot where they were going.

Then they arrived. 

While everyone else got out, (Y/N) took a moment to take a few breaths like her psychiatrist had taught her. 

It startled her when her car door suddenly opened, but she immediately calmed when she saw Spencer standing there with his hand extended. One more breath and they walked over to the yellow tape, with Morgan and Prentiss staring after them. Prentiss with a knowing smile and Morgan with his eyebrows furrowed. Prentiss patted him on the back of the arm, nudging him forward toward the crime scene.

Reid lifted the police tape so (Y/N) could duck under it and then followed for a few steps before bumping into her as she suddenly froze in place. 

“Looks like you didn’t need me for this after all…” She said ominously.

Reid peered around her and took a second to process what (Y/N) had said in context with what his brain was trying to tell him his eyes were seeing.

There, surrounded by crime techs taking photos and placing little yellow numbered tags, was Evan Lamberg, covered in blood, skull fully opened, brain completely missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks ConfusedFandomWriter for the encouragement to get this chapter up, it was the kick in the butt I needed :) Believe me I have plans for this story! My new job is keeping me too busy I think haha


	12. The Gift

Rossi stood beside the body, “the unsub’s broken pattern,” he said in his gruff voice. “This one would have to be different though,” he continued, “Lamberg was a different level of guilty in the unsub’s eyes, he wasn’t a mere bystander but the murderer of an innocent young woman.”

“So he destroyed the whole brain?” Prentiss questioned.

“No,” Rossi was sure, “the scenes of all his previous crimes were messy, the brain matter was found around the bodies, destroyed and left behind in ruin. It suggests that he was upset with his past victims but that they weren’t worth too much of his time, or care. With Lamberg, the unsub would want to make sure he did exactly right.”

Hotch turned to (Y/N), who had since opened her field kit and was shining a light into the skull cavity. “(Y/N), why would he take the entire brain?”

Deep in thought, she considered her words carefully and spoke slowly, almost as if she was thinking aloud. “Rossi said that in the previous murders, brain matter was found destroyed, or rather, in chunks, around the victims.” She then murmured, staring at was left of the inside of Lamberg’s skull, “no time, no care”.

“What is it, Baby Girl? What is that beautiful brain of yours thinking?” Morgan asked her. 

“Most people think that the brain is like the other organs on which they see doctors operating on TV, but in reality, the brain is like Jell-O. It’s very fragile and…squishy.”

“Ok, and?” Hotch prompted.

(Y/N) was so unsure of herself. She thought, what if she led the team in the wrong direction? She wasn’t a profiler.

“I think,” she began, “and I could be wrong, but…I think he intends to fix the brain.”

“Fix it?” Morgan was confused.

Reid eagerly jumped in, “Fixation is the process in which tissue is preserved, while also increasing its structural integrity through a process of submerging it in a series of chemicals known as fixatives.”

The rest of the team all looked at (Y/N). All she could do was shrug, and reply simply with, “Yup.”

“So he wants to keep the brain?” Prentiss asked.

Spencer and (Y/N) both shook their heads at the same time, but it was (Y/N) who spoke first.

“The key part of Dr. Reid’s very accurate and succinct definition—”

Reid grinned with barely held back pride. 

“—was the ‘increasing structural integrity’ part. I think he wants to be more precise with Lamberg’s brain. Take more time with it. Make more of a statement, more of an impact. You can’t dissect a brain without fixing it first.”

“And how long will that take?” Hotch asked, as always, straight to the point.

“An adult brain? Mmmmm…no less than two weeks if he wants it done right.”

“Which I suspect he does,” Rossi put in.

“Well we can’t sit around for two weeks and wait for whatever the unsub has planned for Lamberg’s brain,” said Hotch, “Morgan, take Prentiss and go through the cabin. Reid, work with Garcia to try and track the sale of the chemicals needed the perform the fixation. (Y/N), keep examining the body. They may be no brain there, but another set of biologically trained eyes may help the Medical Examiner.”

They all nodded and began to set out. On his way up to Lamberg’s cabin, Morgan turned back to (Y/N) and called out, “Hey, Baby Girl!”. She looked up from the body to see her brother mouth, _‘you good?’_ She smiled softly in return and nodded, forever grateful for his constant support. “You got this!” He called out in reply before turning back around and departing for his assignment. 

Reid saw that (Y/N) wasn’t yet engrossed in her work and took the opportunity to approach her. 

“So…these chemicals I’m supposed to be looking into, how hard are they to get one’s hands on?” He inquired. It was a question to which Garcia could have easily found the answer given a flat second of typing, but darn it all if Reid didn’t want an excuse to talk to (Y/N) again. 

She went over to her field kit and started taking out the necessary disposable clothing needed when examining a crime scene in order to not contaminate it with one’s own DNA. 

“Honestly, and unfortunately in this case, they aren’t that hard to get a hold of. You need to order them from a lab supplier yes, but they’re not exactly restricted chemicals.” She explained.

“So, hard but not impossible to track?” 

“That’s a fair assumption.”  
“If anyone can do the almost impossible, it’s Garcia.”

“Then I don’t need to wish you two the best of luck, I have every bit of faith in you Spence.”

He smiled, this woman that he held in such high regard was beautiful both inside and out. “And I in you, Dr. (Y/N). You’ve been indispensable this whole investigation.”

(Y/N) blushed, unused to getting such high praise from someone of Spencer’s intellect. 

“No pressure though!” He grinned impishly.

She laughed, “Off you go Dr. Reid, you’ve got a hot date with sales records waiting for you.”

He would rather have her waiting for him so they could go on a hot date, he thought, but instead he only saluted and headed off to the SUV.

She watched him go, grin still on her face, and felt giddy at having such a wonderful friend in Spencer. A friend whose form she may or may not have more than briefly appreciated as he walked away.

 

\-----------------------------------

(Y/N) was just finishing sealing her lab coat in its protective plastic bag when her phone buzzed in her pocket.

Spence: We’re all getting together for late lunch and a debrief back at the station. Are you done with observing the autopsy?

(Y/N): Just packing up. I need to go back to the hotel though and take a shower before I join you all. I smell like preservative chemicals and decay.

Spence: I’m sure it’s not that bad.

(Y/N): …

Spence: Fine, I’m sure the food will be arriving around the time you get to the station anyway.

(Y/N): I’ll be quick!

She slipped her phone back in her pocket and headed out to the rental SUV that Morgan had insisted she take instead of calling a taxi. Good call, she thought now, since no taxi driver would take her more than a few metres before kicking her out with the way that she smelled. 

Running a little later than she had hoped, _stupid traffic_ , she was sure the team had decided to start eating and debriefing without her. She ran around the room in a flurry, grabbing a change of clothes for after her shower and her notes about the case for the debrief. She leapt in the shower and started vigorously scrubbing her body. She was fast, but thorough. She couldn’t have the team seeing her in the run-down state in which the autopsy had left her, _especially Spencer_ , said an intrusive thought. 

After turning off the water, she wrung out her hair and grabbed one of the white towels off the rack. She patted herself dry as quickly as she could and then wrapped the large towel around herself, tucking one end in so it stayed up as she headed back out to dress.

As she turned towards the bed she stopped, surprised. There on the bed, laying atop her clothes, was a box. It was a perfect cube, wrapped in soft purple paper, with a darker purple bow on top. It hadn’t been there when she had gone to shower.

She took a step towards it.

Derek? Had he left it for her? He did have her other room key…

She took another step.

She could see now that there was writing on the top of the box in a beautiful looping script. That wasn’t Derek’s writing, his penmanship was atrocious.

She took another step.

 _My dearest Dr. Morgan_ , it read.

She thought of Spencer then, a small part of her brain even hoped.

No. She knew. This was wrong.

With shaking hands she reached toward the lid of the box, gloves not even crossing her mind. She knew what it would be when she saw the lid of the jar nestled among white tissue paper, but still she reached in, body on autopilot, and lifted the heavy glass container out.

A small strangled sound was the only one that escaped her as she set the jar carefully back down into its box and covered it once more with the lid so she no longer had to look at it.

 _Call Derek_ , the thought barely broke through. She walked to her cellphone in a daze. Sat down in the chair beside the small table where it had been located and tapped the first name on her “recent” list of contacts. It rang.

“Hey (Y/N), where are you, the food just got here.” She heard Spencer say.

“Spencer?” She half whispered.

“(Y/N)?” His voice was firm, urgent, tinged with concern. “What is it? Are you okay?”

“He was in my room.” Her voice broke on the last word. 

“The unsub?” He sounded a little panicked now. She heard commotion in the background of his end of the line. 

“H-he left something, w-while I was showering.”

“Get to the bathroom sweetheart. Please, just get to the bathroom and lock the door. Wait for us okay, the station’s not far, we’re coming.”

“Spence?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t hang up, please.”

“I won’t.”

Then the phone must have been ripped away from him because suddenly, Derek’s voice was in her ear.

“Baby Girl? Are you okay? Say you’re okay.”

“I’m…unharmed.” That would have to do for now.

The rest of what was said while she waited the short time it took for the team to get to the station was a blur. All she could do was just sit on the edge of the bathtub and stare at the tile wall. She heard Spencer say, “(Y/N), we’re coming in okay, don’t worry, it’s just us, we’re here.”

Through the phone but also outside the bathroom door she heard Derek yell, “FBI!” and then after a few seconds, “Clear!” There was only one room to search after all. 

“(Y/N)? She heard through her ear, “Can you unlock the door?”

She put down the phone, and opened the door to find Spencer standing there with JJ and Prentiss trying to see past him to verify for themselves she was alright.

As soon as she saw his face, she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. She took a deep breath and sank into the familiar scent of him. Old books, laundry detergent and coffee. She was safe now she knew. The team was here. Derek was here. _Spencer was here_.

He was so relieved to see her safe and so glad to have his arms wrapped around her. One hand cupped the back of her head and held it to him. He wished he wasn’t wearing his damn bullet proof vest. He wanted more contact, more reassurance than his eyes could give him that she was okay. The sensation of her still damp hair didn’t reach his brain and he didn’t realize she was dressed only in a towel at first.

Until Morgan cleared his throat that is.

They both regretfully disengaged from the embrace. Morgan came over, gave Reid a ‘we’ll talk about this later’ glance, and handed (Y/N) his jacket so she could cover up. 

“Sorry Baby Girl, this room’s a crime scene now so we’ll have to find you some different clothes.”

“I’m on it!” called JJ determinedly as she headed out the door.

 _Crime scene_ , (Y/N) thought. He had gotten into her room, she hadn’t locked the bathroom door when she went for her shower. How easy it would have been for him to have snuck up on her and killed her right then. How had he known in which hotel she was staying? How had he known which room was hers? She thought of him watching her, and her breath quickened. She felt her chest tighten and she fell back onto an old coping mechanism she had to push the anxiety down.

“I need to take it to the lab.” (Y/N) said quickly, eyes darting to the box. 

“What’s in the box, (Y/N)?” Asked Rossi in a gentle voice.

Her eyebrows drew together in anguish, her face pleaded with Rossi to not make her say it aloud, the memory of its discovery too fresh and unprocessed.

“A brain.” She heard Reid say. Half statement, half question.

(Y/N) nodded.


End file.
